Peacekeeper's Log - Seda Artec

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"Soldier Seda Artec speaking. Present location-- Eastern Kingdoms, Hinterlands, Aerie Peak hearth. Date is April eighteenth. Present time is 0810.

My behavior these previous weeks has been impulsive, rash, and dangerous. As my thoughts are gradually cleared from the discomfort and distraction of the inhibitor's final stages I am capable of evaluating these decisions more fully. Though I cannot fully determine the thought process behind my actions, I would determine it as beneficial for me to at least briefly examine these recent errors.

The investigation of a new inhibitor was not worth jeopardizing operational efficiency and the safety of others. The outlined cause for this pursuit was purely out of personal dissatisfaction, and while investigative research may have been a justifiable investment of time, fully cutting usage of the current inhibitor was ill-advised. The possibility existed that the new draft of the inhibitor would fail in suppressing the tendencies already managed by the current version of the serum. Indeed, this possibility came to fruition, meaning that instead of briefly declining from the serum I allowed it to fully fail.

The results of this failure were almost disastrous. I have indicated several times in my project documentation that I had suspicions of the new serum taking no visible and meaningful effect; at this point I should have fallen back to the original formula. Instead I began to investigate unsubstantiated resources for new draughts, culminating in an excursion to Icecrown with Advisor Mindspanner that almost concluded in fatalities, and later in the night. . .

. . .

Continuing. Following the incident in the alchemy lab my approach to Karazhan was highly unprofessional. I allowed myself to become emotionally invested in the apparition that appeared during our investigation of the tower and I-- ah. I admittedly retain this feeling. I assumed it would diminish as the inhibitor's effects strengthen, but I remain sympathetic towards the entity's situation. I will not attempt another individual incursion into the region, however; Advisor Mindspanner described it's abilities accurately. In spite of my interest in assisting the entity I will await group efforts to do so.

. . .I may attempt to communicate via transmissions again, if allowed by the advisor however.

The incursion into the tower was perhaps the second greatest error of the previous weeks. I am uncertain what I had envisioned would occur during my arrival. I do not believe any of my attempts to exit the structure could not have been attempted by Miss Gearlock previously.

I anticipate the next development regarding her status and plan of action towards her with an amount of excitement.

. . .

There is also the subject of Miss H--

<There is a brief pause, accompanied by some dull sounds of Seda fidgeting with dials on the helm>

--The subject of Meggi. I am not certain why I felt compelled to pursue the possibility of an intimate relationship. I have considered the potential intricacies of these in the past, and have determined them to be too difficult for both parties involved, for varying reasons. This has been a subject of contemplation infrequently since the last disruption of my inhibitor. I have given it due consideration.

. . .I am earnestly surprised that she reciprocated the interest.

I have every indication that this arrangement should be terminated before it can progress to a more 'invested' level.

However at present that course of action is highly unsatisfactory; this arrangement makes me feel. . . good.

Hm.

I would like Meggi to feel the same. I will direct some time to considering possible actions to proceed with. Idle contemplation and maintenance and design work will not be engaging or enjoyable to a second party, and at present this remains my largest allocation of time.

. . .Recent days have rekindled an interest in music, and I have found the atmosphere of taverns to be enjoyable during my recent endeavors in accumulating audio. Perhaps I will accompany her to some. Bizmo's is fitting to her interests in combat.

. . .There are also extensive areas of the world that I have not experienced. I assume the same is true for her.

Hm.

Topics of discussion for another time. I am thinking forward when the present is of greater importance. The inhibitor is nearly stabilized. Effects of disassociation and muted responses to emotional stimuli have become visible. I expect I have at most two days remaining before my condition is fully stable.

. . .Hah.

I have impeccable timing, it would seem.

Disengaging."

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"Soldier Seda Artec speaking. Location: Aerie Peak engineering bay, Hinterlands. Date: 4-19, 2315. Status: Fully operational.

System readings appear good. New installations responding to fuel lines. Commencing dialogue.

Repairs to my body and armor have been completed. I am pleased by this. In the event of unexpected deployment it is highly preferable to be prepared. I have spent the majority of the day calibrating my devices and adjusting my repaired components. At present all functionality has been restored. The only object of concern is presently my engines. While they can continue running at serviceable rates for another two months, damages to the cores have incurred a cost on their anticipated length of service.

I will require an excursion to Northrend to resupply on elemental components at a future date.

I have addressed Advisor Mindspanner regarding access to Karazhan for further communication with it's entity, Miss Gearlock. As anticipated there was resistance to this idea. This is understandable. I will obey the advisor's requirements and attempt transmissions from Duskwood. These will likely proceed another night, however, as I will be devoting the remaining night to repairs to my weapon and analysis of my condition.

The inhibitor has stabilized. Thought processes are clear.

. . .

Initiate Steelshatter appears to be exhibiting animosity towards me. This sentiment is understandable, although concerning. I am uncertain if there is any direct course of action which may be taken to repair this. My initial predictions are that there are not. During our next encounter, assuming favorable circumstances, I will attempt to approach the subject.

. . .I do not expect a positive response.

This is understandable.

Sentinel Skybrooke remains within Karazhan. Prior to my return to the keep Advisor Mindspanner, Warden Knutcrank and I intercepted a distress signal originating from Stranglethorn Vale. A message from the transmitting communicator revealed that the Sentinel is in need of food.

Her purpose within the structure remains elusive to me.

I hope that the option of retreat is strongly considered, as we remain hesitant to mount a direct incursion into the tower, barring further planning and organization.

I hope that this delay will prove manageable for the Sentinel.

. . .

I continue to determine myself in fault for both of these circumstances. I remain surprised that others do not as well.

Mm.

Disengaging."

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"Soldier Seda Artec speaking. Location: Aerie Peak engineering bay, Hinterlands. Date: 4-22, 1036. Status: Fully operational.

I have just completed the basic framework for Advisor Mindspanner's Mind Spanner device. Full assembly will require an estimate of another day, barring complications or diversions of attention.

...I do not find the stated function of this device to be pleasant. This has been my sentiment for any mental alteration, via the shadow or necrotic powers that have affected myself in the past. Though an undeniable utility for battlefield usage I find it. . . amoral. Troubling. Under standard circumstances I would not collaborate in the creation of such a machine.

I place trust in the Advisor that it will be well-guarded and appropriately utilized, however. I also act out of secondary motivation that this collaboration may. . . assist in mending any misgivings I have produced for myself following the lapse of my inhibitor. I value the Advisor's trust and friendship and would like to assure both are preserved.

It is merely accelerating the inevitable, in either case. This construction would occur with or without my assistance, and if it is to be used to the benefit of the Servitors then I have no justification to not provide assistance.

. . .

The process of self-justification is meaningless and I will now abandon this subject.

Perhaps I will attempt to locate Meggi tonight and commute to Stormwind or another suitable location. I believe this would prove beneficial. The prospect itself is exciting.

<The speaker's voice, predictably, has nothing at all to indicate said excitement.>

At present I will refocus my attention on the Mind Spanner. I have also been adjusting the range of my communicator. I hope to attempt another broadcast towards Karazhan soon. I am uncertain what chance of success exists regarding this.

Regardless.

Disengaging."

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<A distant voice can be heard speaking over a static-filled recording. It sounds like a woman. On occasion sickly coughing and weezing breaks her words.>

"Soldier Seda Artec speaking. Location: Dun Morogh. Above Gnomeregan. Date: 5-26, 23 hours. Status is. . ."

<"Day 48. Still no response from topside. Communications may be cut off from a number of potential sources. I... I don't know if I can do much more for him. I think-">

"Following the recent operation within Gnomeregan I am now the single remaining operative of Division 18 of the Gnomeregan Peacekeepers. Marcine Rocketfist, Gasten Firestarter, and Pazel Turnsprocket are dead. As anticipated their degenerative state was advanced upon our encounter. They perceived my allies as threats and were intent on assaulting or apprehending them. . . .And yet they appeared to recognize me. They saluted. I. . ."

<"Day 64. I feel so light-headed. My eyes are hazy, and my skin has this terrible itch to it. It's like what Gasten was talking about before he started turning all... green.">

<The recording is turned off with an audible click.>

"Overhead the stars are presently on bright display. I recall coming to this auxiliary exit into the upper valley often. At times with Vittoria. Often alone. I recall the cool air being welcomed during that time due to the internal temperature of my suit. At present the only sensation I am presently perceiving is that of a chilled tone. Attempting to replicate this moment of relaxation only generates painful thoughts at present.

. . .Advisor Mindspanner confided information to me, regarding the Bronze dragonflight and the hearthstones we were entered the City to retrieve. This information has only provoked further distress. Evidently the power to undo the blight of undeath has been within the power of the bronze all this time. Predictably, they are not intent on utilizing this power.

The only inkling of a cure is then out of reach indefinitely.

. . .Hah.

I am uncertain why I entertained fantasies of alternatives."

<Another audible tap. After a moment the voice from earlier begins speaking, now bright and energetic.>

<"Marcine Rocketfist speaking, location is the GPD 18 offices, date is 8-05. First day on the job! I was told to spin up an introductory log about myself over this recorder. Apparently they require these things for debriefing, so-">

"I will remain here for now. My presence appears to be unwanted at the keep."

<"-a combat specialist and demolitionist. My mom was one too. So bombs are something of a family thing I guess? Either way, I've got a few I'm planning on fixing into my gear. If the captain gets to mod her hull out I don't see it being a problem if I do too, right?">

<"She seems a little uptight. And big? Is she part dwarf or something?">

". . .Hah."

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"I am a good person.

...These make me feel safe.

Even if they  ｒｅｍｉｎｄ me.

I can still hear them speaking. I can still see their faces.

I'm a good person."

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"Well, recording is working again at least. Might as well collect my thoughts.

...

Cogs, I look awful.

There's a big strip of burn marks running straight down my back, from the right shoulder down. That looks -nasty-. And from what I've gathered from the Ebons I'm lucky my ankle-up isn't shattered into pieces.

If I was alive I think I'd be blacking out. It's a little surreal just looking at all of this instead. I actually have never had to, not at length, thanks to all the protection on my suit. The last major injury I sustained was just braced together and unattended to beyond that. Probably not my most intelligent decision, but ah. It was a peculiar time for me.

...I had a lot going through my head when I saw my gauges spiking up. There were a lot of things I haven't felt in a while. for a moment I was almost certain I was going to be blown to pieces, and I was... scared. I'll admit, I panicked. There wasn't anything I could have done, in hindsight, but I was just frozen. The next thing I knew I was rocketing into the air and hurtling back down. I could see the other engine was nearing a meltdown. I honestly expected the worse.

...Compared to how I felt going into Karazhan though, I suppose this is an improvement?

I didn't even think about what was going on around me. My head was still spinning from that abrupt flight, I hadn't even checked in on other injuries from the overload. I feel bad about that. I hope no one thought worse of me for it.

It feels strange to be caring so much about these things again.

Either way. At present I'm bedridden. Apparently the repair is going to be fairly extensive. Twice so since I still have damage from the Tower that was never properly attended to. I just hope I can get my COMM running so I can keep in touch.

I hope Meggi's not too worried.

I get the impression I should be more concerned, since one of my legs is currently cut open and awaiting treatment, but I think after all of that I'm feeling a little numb to seeing my own broken bones.

I guess that's all for now."

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"I'd say it stings more than I remember it, but nah. That's normal. It's the same.

--Soldier Seda Artec, speaking. Intact, in the workshop."

. . .

"I'm not an idiot. I can read a person enough to know when they're tense. Afraid. I tried not to pay it any attention before. I assumed... it would pass?

Maybe I'm a fool for that.

I wonder if M is the same way. Does she just hide it better? ...Maybe I don't want to know the answer to that."

[ A sigh. ]

"The order today is to be fully prepared for combat. And I believe, with what I've heard, that it's not without reason. My gear is fit for action. Right now, I am not. I can feel it gnawing at me from inside, and I can see the frost on my plating. It's been a few weeks since I... 'refreshed' that need. I've been putting off doing it again. But I can't play around with this matter any more. It's come too far. It's going to be a problem, and I could already feel my attention pulling to my allies when we fought in that crypt.

I will not be a liability again. I will not make myself a monster to anyone else.

This whole thing feels like a cycle. I wonder if the others judge me for it. ...I do.

On. Off. On. Off.

I can't keep doing this."

. . .

"I will be ready. I'll do what I have to."

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"Soldier Artec speaking. Location, Aerie Peak workshop. Date 8-26, time 1046.

Upgrades to combat great have been demanded by the Commander. I have drafted a list of improvements, the largest of which will be a recasting of my suit's plating to reach the current standard of metalworking. It's composition remains only at par with techniques developed in the wake of the Cataclysm. This is not entirely a wasteful venture, beyond the obvious benefits in increased durability- I will be possess a second hull to the hardsuit, should Advisor Mindspanner or I require it.

I should also have my second runeblade reforged. I do not look forward to this process, given the discomfort the last reforging placed me in. . . .Nor am I interested in having further interaction with that necromancer. But it must be done. I cannot allow myself to be disabled so easily. We will be facing more demons. They will be capable of damaging the blade just as well as the first.

It is entirely sentimental, but it. . . pains me to be replacing these weapons. I recall when I was first given them. Despite the corruption imparted to them by the Scourge they have always remained. . . a piece of home. A piece of my former life. My suit has undergone so many alterations that it is a Peacekeeper's hardsuit in name and branding only. It appears similar, but it has changed drastically. My weaponry, now, is being modified beyond recognition. I--

I. . . am not certain that I am even the same.

Perhaps it is due to feelings like this that Mottie became M?

Mm.

It has been over two weeks.

'I' am almost gone again. But I will continue on.

. . .I am sorry, Sky."

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"Soldier Artec speaking. Location, Dalaran engineering workshop. Previous assistance rendered during my presence here during the war against the Lich King have ensured my access to a relatively private workstation. While the tools available to me are of inferior make to my preferred set of instruments, they will suffice for my present purposes. Date 4-24, time 0030.

I am presently undergoing the complete refabrication of my secondary hardsuit frame and hull. Unfortunately Commander Mindspanner's usage of it resulted in a nearly complete destruction of all systems and gear onboard; This is, unfortunately, an anticipated effect of submersion in any device in superheated materials.

. . .I have attempted to avoid reflection on this for some time. I find it difficult to do so any longer. When I arrived in Dalaran after extracting Advisor Silverwright from Silverpine I anticipated that Commander Mindspanner had taken extreme damage, but the reality of this prediction was greater than I had imagined. By my estimation upon viewing the body the hardsuit had not only begun to melt and fuse under extreme heat, the power cell had also suffered a meltdown and detonated.

I have calculated the risk of this event previously and found it highly unsurvivable, even by the undead. It appears this was accurate. In the moment I briefly was uncertain if the situation could be salvaged.

. . .I remain uncertain regarding my course of action afterwards. I am pleased by the outcome, of course. Elated, in fact, though for reasons that may be judged as improper and hypocritical of my own position. It is pleasant to see M emotive once more. I am uncertain if she intends to pursue further usage of the inhibitor. It is, admittedly, likely advisable. But irrationally, I will not make note of the absence of usage if she does not.

I am pleased that she is still here. Both Commander Mindspanner and Advisor Silverwright have expressed their gratitude to me for my actions, to the extent that I have been granted a medal of recognition. Their continued presence is a sufficient reward alone.

Regarding less vulnerable topics- The destruction of my secondary hardsuit has granted me an opportunity. With access to a unified pool of knowledge from both the amassed texts of Dalaran and the joined minds operating at the Broken Shore I have begun researching potential improvements to incorporate into my reconstruction. Several simple improvements, such as updated joint designs and sensory interfaces have already been incorporated into the revised schematic. I have drafted revised casts for several sections of the hardsuit shell, decreasing risks in traditional vulnerabilities such as the helm port.

Naturally, improvement and innovation is not without its difficulties. There is a considerable challenge I am presented with regarding many of these additions and revisions. The increased weight of additional and more durable plating will place a greater strain on the suit's power source, and several revised devices and improved interfaces will draw upon resources further.

I require more power. And while previous iterations of the ARTEC core were capable of granting this, they did so at a risk that I now warrant as too great to consider viable. Overheating has been a consistent vulnerability of my systems and the elemental combustion core which lends itself to this state of volatility will not be considered in any truly revised edition of this project.

I have a proposal. M's knowledge will be required. I am uncertain if she will approve or be inclined to assist. But I find the continued reports of peril and heavy injury to be indicative that a less conventional approach may be justified. Where the power of elementals constrained to this world have failed my purposes, I hope to find a solution in the power of the Titans.

I will continue amassing materials before our departure, and review them as I am available during our deployment. Discussions with other engineers have already provided valuable starting points for this project and I anticipate promising results from this research.

Disengaging."

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"Soldier Artec speaking. I am presently out of my hardsuit due to heavy damages. I am. . ."

*There is a pause, and a sharp hiss of pain.*

"Unwell. I am uncertain of the source of this discomfort. My body continues to feel heavy and weary, despite my incremental recovery from combat damage and the assistance supplied by Lectrazzle. I have momentarily halted work on repairs, due to disorientation. At present my sight remains 'out of focus'. It is slowly returning. I have considered returning to Acherus for consultation, but with my present state I am uncertain if the journey would be achievable.

Something is wrong."

Alone at Last

Seda came lurching into the workshop, hands flying to her helmet. She could feel the ichor on her lips, and her skin crawling as everything began to constrict around her. With a dull clang and clatter her helm came dropping off, crashing into the edge of her workbench and sending tools scattering onto the floor. Her eyes were struck with the brightness of the lights overhead, unfiltered from behind her visor. She briefly lost her way as things blurred and distorted, shapes around her fading into bright, vivid spots of color, wreathed with a creeping ring of black. As she hunched over her bench she felt that darkness closing in, wrapping itself around her as the frosty glow in her eyes dimmed and deadened, only to go skittering away with a few quick blinks.

This wasn't new. Not by now. It had begun over furlough, and it had only happened more and more sense. She had recognized the pattern early- exerting herself was to blame for it. Too much combat, too much labor, even too much walking as she'd found today- it left her in pain. Possibly worse. Her skull felt like it was ready to just shatter, like she was going to simply burst. It was this horrible building of tension, a stream of pain running up to some terrible climax. In that way it wasn't entirely the discomfort alone that troubled her- it was what would come after it.

But, like before, nothing came after. She lay against her workbench, gasping for breath for her tattered lungs, feeling tremors run rampant through her as she slowly, steadily found her footing once again. She felt sick. It wasn't a feeling she was used to, and yet she was starting to become familiar with it over these last few weeks. There was a tension in her stomach and a cloud swirling about in her head, as if she were simply lost in a haze.

She pushed herself up and took hold of one of the shelves of her bench. As she caught her balance again she looked up into the mirror ahead of her, staring back at the blue-eyed gnome who leered back. She watched as black blood trickled from her shuddering lips, until a droplet parted from the pooling rivulet and landed below with a gentle spatter.

. . .

She had felt this way for a long time.

She hadn't, and yet she had. She had always felt a haze over her as she wavered between these abstract voices of firm reason and boiling anger. She had listened in a sickly lethargy when those two failed, and fear and anxiety took their place. She had felt this dark cloud over her for many years now, and over those years she had come to accept it. She had come to see one of those as being 'well', only because the other one was worse. In truth, she hadn't been 'well' for some time.

Seda was not only a woman of logic. She was not only a warrior possessed by rage. She was not a fearful survivor, a broken heart, a stalwart guardian, or a loyal soldier.

She was not one of these, because for so long they had each been separate and distinct, like a wholly different voice among a crowd within her. She was not one of these, because she was all of them.

They felt separate. Distinct. Sometimes they didn't feel like her at all, but that was suggesting she even remember what she -was- like. There were times where she couldn't recall. She knew her past, she could remember it vividly still-- but it was all events, old faces, or places. She could remember shockingly little about the gnome who had experienced it all. Little of how she felt, and how she acted. Surely it was in pieces around her now- but at times she struggled to put it back together.

. . .

"I remember this when I first came back." Seda murmers lowly, voice slipping between a shuddering monotone and a terse, almost fearful tone. "I remember looking at those." she says, planting her fingers over the pulsing blue eyes that pierced the sheet of glass ahead and turned about to stare straight back at her. "I remember saying... those aren't mine." she grunts, a sharp pang working its way through her body. Her hand drops and she looms forward, inches from the frosting mirror. "That's not me. It couldn't be."

"Well I was fucking wrong." she spits back, teeth grit tight. She rests her forehead to the glass with a dull thunk, sliding down against it as she composes herself. "I looked at this and I saw a problem. Like it was something I could fix. Damn it. Like I'm better than the rest of them. Like they wouldn't have discovered a solution if they were able. Like I'm special."

It had been three weeks since she'd gone back on the inhibitor. It made her feel sickly. It made her hurt. But unlike before, that was all it did this time. Something was wrong. This time, it didn't work. It didn't just fail, either- this was something new entirely. She could still feel the cold pit in her chest from it, but she could still feel those dark impulses inside her, nagging at the back of her mind. She could still feel a lot of things, actually.

"I cannot repair this dilemma. Not like this." she says, pulling back and staring into the mirror again. Her dull eyes were absolutely glaring now, tracing between the mirror and the spent vials of inhibitor rolled across the workbench below.

As she stood there staring her reflection down, she realized something. Slowly at first, as a notion crept into a revelation.

She was alone.

The only one staring back was her.

It felt relieving. It felt terrifying.

...It felt beautiful.