Dear Diary

A light infused recording crystal

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A round, fist sized, recording crystal sits nestled carefully in Rocyna's gear. It's of pretty 'normal' Draenei design, speaking 'play recent' in their native tongue creates holographic image of the paladin narrating.

Entry 1

The hologram of Rocyna seems much closer to the crystal than normal, tapping it softly to make it bounce a bit.

"Hm, I think it's on...Well, anyway, hello there. My name is Rocyna, paladin of Argus, newly joined member of the Lightforged. I'm making this log as is tradition among many of my peers. This is a recording of my life as a Lightforged, and my history before then. If I may fall in battle or the like, at least this can survive me, and hopefully inspire others to keep the fight alive."

"My story is not a normal one for my position. I was not born a warrior, in fact my reaching adulthood alone was a surprise to my family. I was blinded as a small child. During a Legion strike I was too near a bit of equipment that exploded, and it sadly took my eyes from me. I studied the words of The Light carefully after that, seeking purpose even if many wondered such a disability in my young age would make me an easy target for our foul enemies. Still, in The Light I found a purpose. The Light pierced my darkness and guided me to aid others."

"In my accident I found a gift. I do not wish to call them proper 'prophesies', to do so would be to compare them to the wisdom of greats such as Velen. I simply can see...glimpses."

Her face briefly looks concerned.

"In my dreams I see shapes, sounds, flashes. Nothing is clear when they come to me. Still, I pray to The Light for wisdom, and that helps me navigate such vagueness. This, and my gift for healing...and if I do say so myself a knack for cooking as well...led me to be welcomed in the Army of The Light to support them. I found myself at camps more than anything, helping the soldiers, healing their wounds, that sort of thing. It was good work, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't exactly what I always dreamed of."

"The trials of Lightforging are...harsh. In them we have our impurities burnt away, and our strengths made stronger. My trials were rather grueling. I had to learn quickly how to handle a blade beyond the basics, and how to turn my skills in Light magic offensive. Still, I was able to pass them, with blood and sweat and tears. I'm proud of it, The Light gave me strength. The final trial though was more than I ever imagined. In it we have to face our greatest darkness, the truths we keep locked away, the shames we ignore. I had much to face in that trial."

"I survived, though, and came out bathed in The Light. My mother is a brilliant artificer, she gave me a gift to celebrate my forging. Eyes, in a way, enchanted gemstones that fit into my sockets and allow me to focus The Light into them. I can 'see', in a form, seeing The Light in the living beings around me. It allows me to travel better, able to see who I'm talking to and hunt my foes better. It's good, too, because now I'm in this strange land of Azeroth..."

"So many noble fighters from this world gave their blood and lives for my people, it'd be selfish to remain isolated after all that, wouldn't it? I need training in my new 'reborn' state, and Azeroth needs warriors. It's a sign, I suppose. It's a strange place, with many interesting places and people, but I'm rather loving this chance. I've even found a new group to fight in!"

"These Servitors are...an odd bunch. Kind, but hard. Welcoming, but not foolish. I can tell they've been forged in their own ways. One of my new commanders especially is vexing. A...gnome I believe? It's hard to tell, I can't see her. Literally, she appears as simply...nothing to me. Mindspanner sounds Gnomish, though. I trust her to be a good leader, I've not heard anything bad about her skills there, but I do wonder why this is. I suppose it's likely a difficult thing to be asked by a stranger, though."

"All in all I am...content. For the first time I feel I'm doing what The Light has been calling to me for. This is maybe not how I imagined it, but the happiness remains. The plan of The Light is confusing, at times, like my visions. I've learned to put my trust in not only The Light, but in the goodness of others as well. Azeroth is a land of great darkness, but also great light. I have faith in those in the light, even if they don't fully walk in The Light."

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Entry 2

The recording is of two figures this time, Rocyna and another Lightforged woman. Rocyna is seated in front of the taller woman dressed in robes.

"Are you sure you wish to record this?" The woman asks in a calm tone, looking to the crystal. "These are typically private."

Roc simply nods. "I'm sure, confessor, I want a record of this to meditate on."

The woman shrugs softly, taking a seat as well. "Very well," she says, clearing her throat before continuing. "The Light's flame burns away all secrets and sins. Speak them and be absolved, Rocyna."

Rocyna sighs softly, nodding again. "I've touched The Void, confessor. Or rather it touched me. During a mission there was an...encounter. I likely shouldn't speak in detail, but my mind briefly was not my own, and I almost harmed another."

"That is a grim fate, yes, but you should know that deeds done in such a context aren't your own. You seem free of its taint. Simply pray for greater fortitude, this isn't something to confess."

"No, confessor. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about how it left me feeling after...I feel...terrified! My heart is gripped with fear at every shadow after that! I can still feel its coldness in my soul..."

The woman seems to think on that, looking at Roc rather intensely before speaking. "IS this about The Void? Or is this about another?"

"How do you mean?"

"Why do you feel such fear? Do you not have faith in The Light's protection?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then what's to fear...except your own self?"

There's a long pause as the two look at each other before she speaks again.

"Is this about your mother?"

"My mother is an artificer, she serves our people with honor!" Roc snaps, glaring at the woman.

"Your BIRTH mother, Rocyna. You can lie to others but not me. I've watched over your training since you were a child."

Another pause comes, Rocnya angrily glaring at the woman still before her facade breaks, turning into a look of sorrow.

"It is, yes."

"Say it. You have to confront it."

"My mother fell to The Legion's temptation, and I'm afraid I inherited her weak soul!"

"Why? Because of one failing?"

"Because of this fear! Wasn't my Lightforging supposed to remove my fears and doubts?!"

 

The woman looks at Rocyna a moment before softly laughing, shaking her head.

"What fool told you THAT?"

Rocyna looks rather embarrassed by that, coughing a bit as she squirms. "Well, no one, properly at least. I just...I never saw any Lightforged waiver or doubt themselves. I assumed that was...part of it."

"No, child," the confessor speaks, reaching a hand to rest on Rocyna's softly. "No, not even The Light can purge ALL our fears and doubts. You simply had to FACE them, not destroy them. It's in overcoming them that we are reborn."

"So, what, I just live with this fear forever? This pit in my stomach? The fears of becoming like...her?"

"What if I told you I could undo your Lightforging? There's no shame in acknowledging your limits. You can go back to your old life cooking and healing in the camps and such. That's a fine way to serve. Would that make you happy?"

"No..." Rocyna answers after some thought, shaking her head. "I want to fight. I want to keep doing what I can like this."

"Even though you failed? Even with this fear?"

"Yes."

"That, child, is the secret. That's why those warriors you saw as a youth never seemed to falter. They felt their fears just like you, but they placed their duty above it. Tell me, without going too in depth, did you succeed your mission despite that setback?"

"Yes, it was a hard fight, but together we overcame it, and saved one of our own before hopefully sealing the danger away..."

"What do you think matters more, in the grand path of life? Do you think one faltering moment outweighs the good of that? Do you consider any of your team failures for their own burdens?"

"Of course not. Obviously saving a life is more important."

"Then why are you at a higher standard? What makes you so special?"

"Am I not supposed to hold myself to greater standards? I've been blessed by The Light."

"Yes, but you're still a mortal, you're still you. The Light does not give us a greater load than we can lift, or a path we can't walk. You trust in it, yes?"

"Yes."

"Then walk in it, allow it to guide you when you don't know the way." She smiles, hand reaching up to touch Rocyna's cheek. "You are stronger than her. Her failings are not yours to bear. You can't spend your life atoning for her AND following your own path."

Rocyna sighs softly, nodding. "Thank you, confessor. I do feel better."

"Good. Meditate on this, pray, but most importantly? Spend time with your allies. We find strength among our peers just as much as The Light."

The recording ends as Roc stands, smiling with a new energy as she walks to the crystal to shut it off.

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