Dogfood's Dream Journal

[A cheap, plain book. The writing inside is slightly skewed block print in ink.]

11/15

There's going to be a lot I'll have to remember. Better start now.

Found a unit, joined up. Just like that. Shan'do Shadewhisper was right - it's time. Mercenaries, even though they wear a lot of blue and gold, but that's alright. Fewer questions. Passed an interview and everything. They asked if I had any secrets that'll come back to bite them in the dick. It's not lying if I believe myself, right?

So. Remembering. New names, stories. There's a sign language I'm to learn. Salute but not in the mess. Wear a shirt. Ears the right shape. I don't know, it's working so far.

Dream last night: sunlight, water, new grass. A lake? Vague as shit, but it feels hopeful. A good sign. 

11/17

Servitors seem to known what they're doing. Rescued some kids, got set on fire a little. Fun. I still like this. Wonder if any of the wizards would take me back to Northrend to practice cold-weather flying. No idea why these kids needed rescuing in the first place, but I guess if it's important someone will tell me.

Marien never understood why I didn't just pick a different name. Maybe it only makes sense to crazy people. Or maybe most people can just name themselves, and that's something else I lost. It doesn't matter now. Dogfood's what I have. If I threw it away, there'd be nothing.

(And it's pretty funny to see peoples' faces when they try to use it. Most of the Servitors say Doe.)

Dream: forest, basket, stained hands. Picking berries, I think. Jam jars. Some of them were full of light instead. That part probably didn't actually happen.

11/26

Vines: okay

Branches: not good

Roots: best

I don't know how to write down the better ways of putting magic in them. Ask a wizard? I probably wouldn't understand the answer. It feels like crushing it into the tiniest space I can find and then giving it a path in the right direction. The latest batch got through granite, anyway. Have to find metal to test them on next. Maybe the dwarves have a spare anvil?

Adviser Mindspanner needs these for something, by the way. I'm not just blowing seeds up for fun. (Although it is pretty fun.)

Adviser Stonebrew ordered me to make friends, of all things. Who would have thought mercenaries are so cuddly? They're a quiet bunch but apparently we're due for some snow and I think I got a few snowfight teams set up. Watch, now Izarre or Ahlam will freeze me in an ice cube for meddling.

Dream: a shit-load of birds flying south. That seems clear enough.

11/28

Whispers again. not good

11/28 continued

Try again. You are fine, Doe. That was an accident, or something, not an attack. I lost words for maybe half an hour and now I'm standing and talking and fine. Adviser M. didn't even flinch. And the seeds worked. I hope she turns that thing into gravel, even if the whispers weren't its fault.

Light of Elune, I'm tired. The fingertalk helps a lot. It's- I don't know. Easier. And there's always a big fire going in the hearth, which is pretty pleasant for sleeping as a bear. The seeds need more work but I won't get anything done if I can't keep my eyes open. Can't say I'm sorry the storm's keeping people cooped up, although I don't imagine the other Servitors would look too kindly on that thought. Having voices around is nice just now.

Dream: snow. Inches and drifts and then yards, piling up, not suffocating - although I think it would be? - but past all moving or seeing. 

12/4

WINTER'S VEIL

(This has been underlined several times.)

Numbering things so I don't forget them.

1. I owe Hammerbeak 2 gold 3s for the anvil. I am also required to have armor for unit inspection, and I guess also for the field but it's not like I ever use it. (Armor for bears? Ask a dwarf. Not Hammerbeak, he's still feeling uncharitable.) There's probably a pile of back pay under a dead man's name out there somewhere I'll never get at it. Oh well. I'll find the money.

2. The seeds are done and Advisor Mindspanner has them. I keep thinking they're still in my pocket. Hope they work don't ask for trouble, Doe. All the tests went fine. Still wish I could show them to Shan'do, just to hear that I didn't miss anything. 

3. See if any of the wizards/element wizards will be at the Keep over furlough. Also, find out how far north whales swim.

4. The big lake to the east of the Keep has the best fish so far. Very mean pine marten, though.

5. Winter's Veil party the 17th. Decorations, food, activities. I have some ideas but I should ask around in case I'm missing something important, too. Have to make sure it's good so people want to stay.

The Commander's real. I spoke with him a little. He's got kids. (Everyone here has kids. Both of Advisor M. and Jo's are wizards and one turned me into a monkey. I wonder if I could get them something for Winter's Veil?) And a dead... husband? I think? And a live one as well. He speaks of the Servitors like they're family, though I think he mentioned a mother as well. Said the unit gave him purpose. Is that what I'm looking for? I always thought of myself as pretty happy being lazy. But he seemed- I don't know. Happy. It's a fine thought, that some of them might remember my name in five years, too. Even if it is for getting ordered to my death or whatever he was talking about.

Jo's family has a hundred dwarves.

Can hardly wait for Winter's Veil, although I have a mile of things to do first. Shan'do Shadewhisper would not appreciate a gift, but Marien might. And the Servitors. Lots of them are snowed in and soon they won't be allowed to fight demons at all, so we'll have time to get to know each other. Hopefully by the 25th they'll like me enough to accept.

I guess all this stuff about the holiday was in my head already? Wonder what else is floating around in there, waiting for me to need it. 

Dream: a lake full of stars, vast, beautiful, silent, still. Empty. How will anyone know to find me? I can't even find me. I don't want to think about this any more.

12/18

I am one of the Servitors.

I sort of- forgot- that they didn't mean to keep me on probation forever. Somehow it's been a month already, who knew? Advisor M. called me up at the unit meeting and everyone said kind things - I am friendly! I work hard! And then the Advisor gave me a tabard and that was that. I am Initiate Dogfood Doe.

I keep going over it in my mind. They kept me. I'm part of the unit. I have a home (or a bunk and a box, but that counts). Initiate Doe. It's the first time something's got added to my name out of [scribbled out] belonging. Purpose. It's an incredible gift. I won't fail them. 

Dream: I dreamed the unit meeting again, which is pointless, because it just happened and I still remember it perfectly. It was still nice. In the dream version, everyone had lion's manes and Advisor M. gave me a tabard with my name embroidered on it a thousand times.

12/15

I'm going to write it down, just the facts. Writing makes it real. If I forget it will still be here, pinned down. I'm still trying to straighten it all out in my mind but there will be time for that as long as I can remember what happened.

• We were sent on a mission to the Plaguelands. I was separated from the others and encountered a demon. It got into my head and made me think Advisor M. had me trapped. I hurt her badly but she will recover.

• I do not know if it changed or took anything else in my mind.

• The other Servitors arrived and killed the demon. They remember and I trust them.

• I was not lost. Having it in my head was very, very bad but I am still here. I remember. I can talk.

• I don't think I would survive being lost again Only facts.

• No one else was possessed.

• Advisor M. says I do not have to leave the unit. Also, she shot me. My shoulder hurts but the healers say it will work fine in a few days.

• I am still here.

Dream: almost nothing. Advisor M. gave me pain drugs that made me sleep, since I was afraid to, and Jo gave me tea. I think they knew. If feels like my brain has been in a hot bath all night.

[A rough draft of a report, filled with scribbled-out words.]