Silver Glaives & Red Lions (Cere Stories/ IC Writings)

A brown leather book smeared in ash that never seems to come off. Glowing green runes line the spine when picked up, a seal keeping it closed save for the touch of the owner or one possessing similar abilities to them. The magically attuned could pick up a sense of fel from the book.

((The writings of Cere, journal entries and research as well as occasional doodles. ))

Date: Thursday, 16th of June.

The page has drawings scribbled on the sides, flowers and leaves of various shapes as well as a few gears and then an arrow or two. The writing is in Darnassian with a very crisp flourish added to the quill penmanship.

I am doing things I do not normally do nor ever thought I would do so again. Where to begin. I have so much I want to write about, to tell someone-anyone about but for now I'll just have to settle for recording them as things go. Perhaps it will be therapeutic. 

I have resigned to the fact I cannot help but grow attached to people. I told myself I wouldn't when I got here but here I am again, fretting over how I will save everyone when the world goes to shit. I know I can't but I can't help but want to, I want to keep the group together like it's all just going to fall apart again. M understands, I think, how this feels. To want to keep everyone around and together in some time bubble where nothing bad ever happens and the world doesn't fall apart to demons or dragons or some other powerful jack ass who thinks they're so important they should extinguish what happiness the rest of the world has because their life is too damn fucked to take anyone else having it good. 

I can't do it though. It is going to happen soon, Roiya said it herself. Our luck is going to run out and someone will be lost, maybe it will wake everyone up and make it clear we can't be taking all these risks, we can't save the world. I just hope I'm wrong. I don't know what I'd do if I lost M, or Sky.  I don't know what I'd do if I lost any of my friends again. It's just like it was, before, in the Blades. Everyone is close, it's a family but this one feels.. stronger than the last one. I only hope it's strong enough to resist the days to come. 

Enough grimdark. I'm trying to be brighter, happier so people around me like me more. It feels nice to be.. liked? Cared about? I don't know. I enjoy it. 

M walked around a little today with a bit of help, it made me happy to see her back on her feet, I was afraid she would be like Sky and be stuck in a chair for a while but engineering is a wondrous thing sometimes I suppose. Jo said she'd bring me chocolate but she never did so I think I'll have to deduct points from being my "favorite" though she does get quite a few bonus points  for keeping M happy. Or whatever her version of happy is. 

Mae seems eager to learn and that will make things easier to move on with her lessons. Being a Shan'do has lead to many bright and promising young druids but I have also killed one and the other is.. well. As I said. Enough grimdark. I am enjoying the interaction with her she is a bright young lady and will turn out to be an amazing healer. 

Fro had some kind of.. mind stuff.. done to him. I was worried about him and a little hurt he said he didn't trust me enough to go with the others. I see him as somewhat of a little brother, so it stung more than I think it really should have. I understand from his point but understanding and feeling have shown to be very willing to work on opposite ends. 

Sky and I are going to visit her dad in Ashenvale, I'm excited for the trip. I don't have too much else to say about that without it devolving to a bunch of gushing and nonsense that I do not want recorded.

(( The rest of the page is lined with drawings of various things. One that looks like M but she's actually smiling, and one that looks like some female elf. She is smiling as well but it isn't one that looks happy. It looks more like.. a gloating, cruel grin. The druid is a surprisingly good artist.))

Added quickly to the previous page, jotted down before sleep the same night.

I had a heart to heart type talk with M tonight after the events with Fro. She was far more receptive than usual, I found it strange at first but greatly enjoyable. We spoke of a lot of dark things that I won't record for the simple fact of my own attempts to be a lighter individual for furlough, but, the other parts were really nice. We talked about old times, current times, our friendship and more. It.. did me a world of good to actually hear all those things back, she had never really said anything like that before. I knew, but it's still nice to hear. 

Mae gave me a gift to give to Sky, cherry blossom products. She seemed to enjoy them quite a bit, I picked cherry blossom for the scent. I spent some time in Pandaria in the Vale before it was destroyed, and the scent of this on the wind was something I will never forget. Doubly now that I've begun to associate the scent with Sky. Today has been.. good. I hope to have many more like it in the days ahead. 

A small drawing of Sky smiling with some cherry blossom petals about is added at the end. He sure does like to draw.

Scribbled quickly on the following page, a few tea stains dotting the surface. 

Today has been long, I've not slept yet and I think the sun will be gracing the hills and trees soon with it's light. I have completed construction on a custom saddle for M to use in Vash'jir to ride on my aquatic form into battle. I was worried about her lack of mobility in that suit and this seems to compensate for that without hindering me too much. The others seem to view it as strange but personally I think it is practical and efficient. Today will be a trying day and we will likely incur injury on this voyage, I only hope it is nothing severe we will need our strength in the coming months and spending furlough in the infirmary would more than anger me anyone. 

I have agreed to take on yet another student. Silentoak seems to be a steady man if a little forward, he seems to have his eye on Mae but I can't tell yet if it is because of Mae or because she falls in the category of "female Kaldorei". Normally I wouldn't care but now both are my students, and I would prefer to avoid any sour attitudes when I gather them to teach. If things go well, good, if not I will have to put my foot down about it. 

He is in Seradane. M plans to speak with him. I hope things go well for her sake and mine. 

A detailed drawing with notes of the custom saddle fills the rest of the page like a blueprint that developed as it went. The finalized vision is also drawn, a doodle of a deepsea gnome riding an orca with a harpoon gun ready. Quite comical. 

Date: Saturday, June 18th

This entries words are written in a less crisp fashion than his usually remarkable penmanship. A few spots on the page appear to have had droplets of water dropped on it. Rain perhaps. 

I promised. I promised. I promised. I promised. I promised. I promised. I promised. I promised. 

I promised. I promised. I promised. I promised. I promised. I promised. I promised. I promised.


At this point everything above is scratched out angrily and nearly impossible to read. The page begins again as if the previous didn't occur. 


Date: Saturday, June 18th

The Vash'jir mission was today. I was right, Roiya was right, we ran out of luck. M ran Vera through. I promised him...
It was needed. It was required. I feel their blood on my hand like a stain I can never wash out but it was required. A burden I choose to shoulder. I feel bad for M because everyone just couldn't understand the gravity of the situation and I don't think they do still. There is no coming back from Them. Their whispers permeate through the darkest reaches of your mind growing louder and louder until they reach a crescendo, roaring in your skull until there is nothing left but the broken wiling husk of what you used to be.

There is no escape from Them.

 I said I wouldn't be grimdark and I would be cheery, but there is no cheer today. I will start again tomorrow but there is nothing about this that is okay. If I had to choose a single silver lining I couldn't find one. Well.. acting as underwater calvary with M was fun. I guess that was okay and I saved Etharion so it could have been worse. It feels like Ulduar all over again. Goddess please don't let this happen again. 

Date: Sunday, July 3rd. End of furlough.

Let me start off by talking about something cheery and devolve from there. Furlough was amazing. I spent quite a lot of time with Sky while we met her dad and then spent the rest of our time at the hot springs in Feralas. It was relaxing to say the least, I wish I could go back and spend more time there away from all my troubles. It seems we may be back soon with the anniversary party so I've got that to look forward to I suppose. 

We talked about a lot, about the future. Houses and kids and all that silly stuff people talk about together that seem like a distant goal that may not be so distant after all assuming the world doesn't fall apart before year's end. It probably will though with the luck this planet has. Demons, undead, dragons and the like always making a ruckus. But at least for these two weeks, all of it didn't matter and I got to be me with the person I want to spend my time with. 

The first day back was.. not so good. Fro got demoted for attacking M, I feel bad for him but.. it was warranted though so I can't say I wouldn't have done the same in her shoes. Then the stuff with Thoran.. apparently he's hostile to other members and vocally threatening. I didn't see any of this but I was told stories, so I'm unsure what to think about him. I do however, know how M is around worgen and most people.. don't understand that. Things went south, I don't really think I'll go in to detail here as I am trying to keep the theme of this light. 

Damn I suck at being cheery. I should spend some time with Davvi and learn a thing or two about that unrelenting optimism. For now I think I'm going to get some sleep after I eat another of those ice treat things that dwarf was peddling. I really can't help this sweet tooth. Perhaps I'll draw some in bed after.

Below the text is a very detailed drawing of Dex with his turban, he is winking at the viewer and giving the ever classic finger-gun with the Darnassian equivalent of "pew-pew" written off to the side. Is this how Cere sees him? Probably. 

This journal is turning in to a more " complain about my day thing. " I need to work on that. 

Date: Sunday, July 10th

Crisp penmanship with extra flourish adorns this passage slightly more so than usual. Tea stains dot the bottom portion of the page as well as a doodle of a teacup with the face of an elf topped with long flowing hair. 

The anniversary party went well from what I was told, I am sad I missed it but I had a small window of time to be in Kalimdor and wanted to get this paperwork sorted for Sky and I. Which I did. It took ages, but we have a home it seems. A nice quiet little place away from the rest of the world in case we ever feel we want to just.. get away. Perhaps I could ask Dex to set up some sort of.. portal there? Oh well. I'll think about it and pass it by Sky I'm not sure I like the idea of any and all Servitors being able to pop in for dinner. I would run out of food with Lammy and drink with Nel just toddling around the place. 

Speaking of the unit, I am up for promotion. Normally I wouldn't care about this, but since we are making such a big deal about rank and file lately I will climb so I can go back to not caring about rank aside from the few that hold my respect. I have to go to the Well. The Well. I asked M about taking her inhibitor so I didn't have to feel while I am there but apparently dosages given to the living will kill them, as if this trip wont already. I thought next to bring Carmina, she is a priest and possibly will be able to do something to help cull the notion of dread that hangs above me. I am doing my best to not show how much this worries me for Sky's sake. Have to keep my appearance up, if not for myself but for others. Clean armor and tabard and all that silly nonsense. My tabard is too small.. I should get it tailored. 

All of this feels very.. weird. I am in love, I have a home with her, I spend my days making tea and giving advice to those who need it whether they want it or not. It seems.. like a dream. Too easy, too.. happy for what I am used to. I only pray it continues this way.

 

Date: Thursday, July 21st

His penmanship is shaky at best, as if having trouble writing. The page lacks the usual doodles in the side and it is written in shorter sentences, purely utilitarian. 

It is late. I write this by candlelight in the infirmary to refrain from waking the others up, they need their rest. Today went... well it went. I managed to keep my composure and not panic at the fact I was reliving the darkest moments of my people's history. I was afraid I was going to die. I got blown up, twice, shot in the back by my own unit, and set on fire. Also twice. Overall it went well, I only hope the contents of this book are worth it to Roiya. I will speak to her tomorrow, for now, my eyes are heavy and my body aches.

Everyone that followed me in got beat up to the well and back and not once did we get a moment's respite. It was just like I remember it, a nightmare. I cannot wait for Sky to get back from wherever she was going. I could really use a hug from her right about now. 


Sleep. Sleep is good. 

Date: Saturday, July 30th

The page is mostly filled with idle doodle of various Servitors. A portrait of M and Jo together, M smiling with Jo sticking her tongue out. Nyeh. 
Roiya was drawn holding a small child, Eth was drawn with a small dog in his lap. The dog has a collar, it reads " Thoran" in Darnassian script. 
Fro and Avo were drawn sitting side by side sipping what appears to be tea while conversing about the merits of boob donuts. 

Seeing M in that state, so small and helpless in a way, broke my heart more than I ever thought possible. I don't know how to help her, I feel frustratingly useless right now. I am going to curl up with Sky and wish for a better day, she always lifts my spirits when things seem dark. 

I'm not sure what else to write about, my thoughts this past week or so have been very disjointed and scrambled since the Well, perhaps I'm still caging it all up and pretending like it didn't happen. The then and the now are very different, but I feel they will be very similar very soon. 

The last bit of the page was filled with another drawing of Sky, smiling as always. 

Written in Darnassian within an ash colored, leather bound book. The penmanship is simplistic with a slight flair written in deep blue ink.

Date: September 10th
Location: Azsuna - Broken Isles

I write as a way to talk about what is on my mind without having to talk actually vocalize it, I cannot share these thoughts with anyone around me as those I trust enough to confide in are very far away.

My sight is improving enough that using this arcane dust laced ink grants me the ability to read my own writing. Comforting, is a word for it I think. I can see almost as well as before, sometimes I catch myself noticing things without really having to try to do so. It is pleasing that things are falling in to place exactly when I need them to the most. 

Azsuna is rainy, filled with elven ruins, and has many beaches. In other circumstances I would consider placing a permanent home here, it has everything I love in a location but as with everything, there is a down side. Naga and tainted elves that likely date to times when I was a young man roam about freely as well as Legion presence on the Isles. Spirits of the dead wail and float about torn from rest giving me reason to worry about poking about the ruins too much.

I spoke with a spirit of sorts at Etharion’s request, it was trying to reconnect the “Fallen” back to Elune, saying the Blue are causing issue with this or at least related to it. I feel I can relate to these “Fallen” to some degree, feeling cut off from the goddess. I can’t pretend to know what any of the rest means, only that we are stepping into a world outside my experience. 

My experiences are varied, heavily laden with druidism and travel, which brings me to a topic of concern. A world tree is sick, very much so, and I think it may be related to these.. dreams.. we have all been having. The Dream itself is under attack by the Legion. It is the Nightmare, it has to be. I avoided the forests because I didn’t want to remember them in any way than how I did as a Druid. This childish thinking has taken the one person in this group who knows about the Nightmare and the Dream extensively away and left the others to face it blind with nothing but a harvest witch at best. 

I hope things go well, I can’t imagine they will for any of us. 

The bottom of the page has what appears to be the start of a drawing that was left unfinished. A flower of some sort?

Date: September 15th
Location: Dalaran - Broken Isles

Further scouting took place today and a figure from Servitor history ran in to the group, or so they claimed to be, but I have found most of what they said to be falsehoods. I followed their path, it led to no camp and upon scouting on my own I uncovered that there were no Sentinel camps in Azsuna at all. 

Taking it upon myself to search further I used the rune given to me by the Illidari to visit their camp in Dalaran and from there to the Alliance enclave where I spoke to a few druids who did not turn their nose up at me at first glance. One seemed to know my name, he looked confused. 

Upon communing with other Kaldorei druids elsewhere, they reported back that the Silverwing Sentinels have not left Ashenvale at all which lends further weight to my suspicions. This.. Sentinel.. is not who they claim to be. I will get to the bottom of this so long as it involves my fellow Servitor’s safety. 

I await a gryphon charter to return me to Azsuna, hopefully I have not been missed. Longsight has seen his share of ghosts lately, with Mae coming back as well, I hate to burst that bubble but.. he does have to know even if I will not enjoy explaining it. 

Something seemed so familiar about her and I can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s very discomforting to say the very least. I wish Sky were here, she was so much better at this type of thing than I am.

She reminded me of Elu. This is unpleasant on so many levels. 

The flames of the hearth crackle, dancing light and shadow flicker over the Hunter’s form as he sits at the foot of his bed. The small room had enough space for a desk, a bed, a bookshelf, and a small hearth, barely enough room for the giant elf but it would do. 

Hands press against his face as he leans forward, mind racing over the day’s events along with a few intruding thoughts that just would not leave. His book lie open in his lap, a half finished entry written. “I wish I could bring her back.” One thought chimed, repeating something he heard not an hour earlier. His fists clench, balling against his sightless eyes.

“It hurts doesn’t it?” The voice within came, the cruel and cold yet soft voice of his bound companion. “It makes you so very angry, so full of hate. I can feel it too, don’t you like it?” It prods, teasing, digging, looking for a spot of leverage to sink it’s nails in to. 

“You can love again.” another thought chimes spoken by the same person who gave him the first. His hands relax, fingers sliding backwards though his long hair shaking all the while as he takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. 

“So dismissive, isn’t it? Of course you can’t just love again, we’ll take them too. “ The soft voice adds, “Your best friend killed her, just like she killed her own best friend. Her hands are stained in blood, she’ll kill you too one day. “ 

The hunter roars and stands, tossing the book across the room as the inkwell spills across the floor, shattering against the wood. The crash of the heavy book was soon followed by a fist slamming down against the desk, splintering the wood beneath the blow. Papers were swept aside, notes on his current task only labeled as “ The Sentinel” go flying across the room. 

He sinks down into the desk chair, drawing his scarf up over his mouth and nose slowly as he breathes deep to calm himself. He leans forward, head coming to rest on crossed arms against the splintered top of the desk.

Shadows and light continue to dance through the now silent room, the steady slow breathing of the Hunter could be the only sound heard over the gentle crackle and pop of the hearth.  

“I’m all you have in the end.” The soft voice chimes. 

Written in a deep blue ink in Darnassian complete with a flourish. 

Date: September 30th
Location: Dalaran - Broken Isles

Elu came back. I thought I was happy to see her, at first, but just as always she acted the bitter child and I wanted to smack her back to Darnassus. If M wasn’t there I probably would have. 

She had the nerve to just.. show up and judge me like she had been here the whole time, like she knew what was happening. Of all the people I count as close to me, her judgement was one that I would have valued the most at one point, but I can’t say I feel that way anymore. She knows nothing, she didn’t know Sky, she didn’t see me when I was with her yet she still pretends to be my better. Bitch. 

I can’t stand her.

...I care about her deeply but she arrives like a storm, dredging up the deepest parts of me that I would rather leave be. The last time I saw her I left whatever life I had made for myself in Ashenvale and went to seek out M and now.. here I am. If she had not shown up, if she had not told me everything M had done. Would I be here? Would I have met Sky? Should I be thankful or bitter? I don’t know how to feel.

I have been having trouble feeling, well, anything. A few negativities like anger when provoked but otherwise.. nothing. It has been over a month and I still feel so numb to everything. I am moving but.. not.. like my body is just going through the motions of living. 

I should try not to be so gloomy. She wouldn’t want that. 

I think I’m going to give my tabard to Quvren, if I can find him. I haven’t spoken to him since and I feel like it has been intentional. I don’t want to lose him as a friend, I don’t have enough to be letting any go so easily. 

I could use one right now. I wish Quin were around, I need one of those hugs. 

The following section has a surprisingly nice drawing of Quin smiling, another of elven child, and one of Jo sticking her tongue out with the caption “ishnu-alah” in common.  

Cere tucks his scarf up a little higher on his face to hide from the chilly breeze that blew across the Hinterlands, taking a moment to breath in the faint smell of cherry blossom that still remained on the cloth. Mae will have to make more of this he thinks to himself. He looks upwards for just a moment towards the night sky but he quickly averts his gaze as a lump catches in his throat at the blank sight that greeted him. He liked this spot, a hilltop near the lake M had shown him.

It was louder today, as it was the day before and the day before that. Emotions make it louder, easily heard as if those negative experiences opened weak spots for it's claws to sink in, to dig at and prod. It has been almost two months and the weight of things has began to press down on his shoulders, the lull in things to do with their return to the Keep letting his mind focus on things he had tried to keep tucked away. Everything reminded him, everyone with their sad looks now easily seen. He didn't want their pity. 

He sighs, training his sight on the fel glow in the distance that marked the presence of his next focus, his next distraction. The Dwarven Lieutenant was suspicious at first but with proof given he was happy to assist and even happier to label it a "joint operation" to strengthen the Wildhammer and Servitor bond. The Servitors probably weren't even needed, in all honesty, but he needed something, anything to sink his teeth in to so the thing within him couldn't do the same to him. 

His fingers clink lightly against his glaive as they rap over it over and over, the gleaming metal polished and sharpened each time summoned as if he had never swung it before. Soon, he thinks to himself with a growing feeling of anxiety. Soon he will be able to test what he has learned, to distract himself, to throw himself into battle again and again. The being within chimes in along with that feeling, encouraging it with soft teasing words. 

He smiles slightly to himself as he watches the lights dance in the background, anxiety making way for a feeling of anticipation.

Date: November 10th
Location: Aerie Peak - The Hinterlands

I spoke with a strange woman today, the one Quvren suggested I speak to. She was strange but I enjoyed the talk all the same, it has been a while since I could talk without watching every word to prevent a betrayal of my current state. I am to go through a few exercises, mental hoops so to speak to prepare for whatever is to come. Whatever it takes, I do not care, I cannot go on like this. 

I recall others speaking about her and she told me I should ask the Commander about an individual called "One". I'm not sure if I will do this as usual when I am told to tell the Commander about someone it turns out to be a ghost of Servitor past and at this very moment it is probably unwise to potentially add to the burden that clearly weighs on him like Hyjal itself rested upon his back. 

Convincing my Other to go along with this plan may prove tricky, as cruelty and sadism are hallmarks of it's corner in my mind. It may fight out of spite, just because, but I will find a way to force co-operation at the very least. I want to talk about the finer details with someone, get some tips about what I could be doing to help but.. M is going through enough. No one else would understand what it would mean to go poking through my head. I doubt it's as scary as.. some.. but it's still not a hospitable place.

When she made contact I thought of Hallow's End and beyond that I thought of little Sarial demanding we take part so she could horde sweets. She dressed up as me the last year we went wearing tiny Circle robes. Asteris reminded me of Anaria when she smiled,  that smile that lies. Happy, yet very sad and very far away.